Go Phones can Go Die: I Hate Thieves

My iPhone 4 was stolen.
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Thank you. Indeed... it WAS stolen. Usually I say my things were stolen even if I know that I just lost it, but not this time. Realizing at 3:00 am that I didn't have my phone (I was at a birthday party), I decided to call my phone. It rings twice...then voicemail. We ALL know what that means...

The douche was ignoring my calls, although I don't blame him.....or her (can't be sexists). I then told my friend to text my phone to see if anyone would reply. My friend, Daniel, sent a message that isn't appropriate for blogs and/or its bloggers. But I DID get a response back:

"Ooga booga...eat my shorts."


Ah now I'm pissed off. But instead of threatening to slit this guys throat, I thought begging would be a smarter way to attempt getting my phone back. I won't say the whole conversation but here are some responses I got in return:

"First of all, I'm not a dude honey." ---Probably a guy trying to throw me off.

Douche: "Your phone was given to me. I'm not a condoner or thief."
Me: "If you're not a condoner or thief then why do you still have my phone?"
Douche: "Cause I believe in making your own, and learning from your mistakes."
Me: "What do you want?"
Douche: "Money talks, friend."

As if I would just walk up to the guy and PAY HIM for my iPhone back...freaking idiot.

Just thought I'd throw in some bible verses for people like Douche. Here ya go:

Exodus 20:15

"You shall not steal.

Leviticus 19:11

" 'Do not steal. " 'Do not lie. " 'Do not deceive one another.

Deuteronomy 5:19

"You shall not steal.

Proverbs 6:30-31

Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house.

Proverbs 30:8-9

Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

Matthew 6:19

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.

Matthew 6:20

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

Matthew 15:19

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.

Matthew 19:19

Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.' "

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I'll definitely pray for you, Thief. I'll learn to appreciate the small....crappy things in life (ie. Go Phones) whilst simultaneously wait patiently for karma to come back and bite you. And I hope it hurts.

ps. That's why I haven't blogged (....bleg?) in a week. Darn Go Phones don't even have games, much less all my awesome apps!!!! AhHuHHhggghorilkcFyeYoJgHBmvdkgjfRBghahHGwisuhgyghbqwlr!!!!!!!!!!!!!